To Geora Zadok, the letter that comes from a grantable silence

7 years ago I met you, in a kibbutz in the desert of the Negev, my soul was moved to see you, from the first day we met I fell in love with you, it was love at first sight, I love you so much that I gave my life for you, We dreamed of a future together, we lived the greatest love story, next to you were the best months of my life, distant from you were the most terrible years that I have lived.

It was the first time that I fell in love in life, the only one that I have loved so much, to the point of being silent feelings that I have in my heart in all these years.

Yesterday evening and after so many years that we continued in contact as the intimate confidants and friends who made us destiny and time, I dared to confess to you after a long time what I felt in my heart, what we always knew between the two , That which without words we knew, I told you that I loved you, that I continued to love, that my heart still felt something for you, keep quiet, shut up because I marry a man who did not love me, who settled for love That I gave him, even knowing that it is you whom I love first, and I do not care, he forgot to feed that love, to conquer me, to hold me in his arms, to mistreat me, to deviate from the ways of the Torah, and There was another in his life, that destroyed my heart, we had a son that shortly after birth died, and with him died the love I learned to have him in those years, my marriage was destroyed, but keep quiet, because you already loved To another woman, you loved her so much that you took her c On to the places I dream we would go together and continue to swallow me what we already knew, what irony.

A few months ago, when I mentioned my feelings and you became disgusted, you told me to redo my life again with another man, I asked Hashem to get you out of my heart, that he would rip you out of my life, I began to look for and meet other men, and I began to see beyond the mirror in which I was always reflected.

What I saw was creepy, I saw myself as the woman who was always wanted, and it was the trophy of her husband for being 18 years less to him, I saw myself as that woman always complacent, faithful companion and friend and sincere lover, who always was Desirous of giving love, gave me sadness of my reflection, because the deeper the image of myself was made, the more I understood that I forgot myself, to live, to love myself, to fight for my desires, longings and thoughts .

Your Geora Zadok and my ex-husband Yosef Fleischer were part of my life, but they were the ones who ended everything I loved and wanted, I was able to let them do with me what you wanted, I understood that I deserved and wanted more, but that feeling I still had it for you, it continued in my heart and in my mind.

Your silence last night made me understand how close and distant we are, that petition that I asked you to leave in the wall of lamentations in Jerusalem for me a few months ago and left it in the coldest winter of the year, was bearing fruit, And even created it, Hashem never forgets his people Israel, I'm sure he will not forget me, I asked God to forgive me for the mistakes I made, and I hope someday I'll find what my heart longs for, someone That he is capable of loving me as much as I love you and Yosef, someone who only sees me say a wow, that beautiful woman, someone who not only sees in me a sweetness, but the strong and determined woman in which I became, I want to walk by my hand and go to the end of the world for me, do not settle for little, want everything by my side, and much more next to me, and me of the family that I lost, that family I learned to value , And yearn for return in my life.

This is just the beginning.

I will soon return to my land Israel, and I want you to see me and know the woman you let go, and Joseph sees the woman whom he did not appreciate in his life, the woman that Hashem gave him and did not keep at his side.

It deserves to be public, it deserves to be said, because this story came to an end.